For the past two or three weeks, I have become a confidante to two of my friends. I have to admit that I’m not good at counseling that is why this is a new thing for me because people don’t usually call my house to ask for advice. If you’re my friend, you’ll probably remember my line “Ok lang yan” (that’s okay). But I realized saying that does not make people feel better.Back in high school, a good friend was desperate for advice and I just told her “Ok lang yan”. She answered me back and said “MM, what I need is advice!” It hit me that I do have to change merely saying that and start giving my friends real advices. Time passed and I haven’t changed at all. Yes, I still say that line all the time. However, something really unexpected and memorable happened recently.
A friend called out of the blue and it was surprising on my part since we’re not really close but yes we are friends. He called and narrated his problem. The other night, another friend left a message in my Yahoo Messenger saying something bad happened to him and he wanted to talk to me. So, I called him and we talked over the phone. The funny thing is that I just kept saying “Ok lang yan” but at the end of our conversation, they still said “Thank you so much, MM”. It felt good. Although, I know that I’m still not good at giving advices but it’s a nice feeling when someone tells you about their problem. I guess it makes you feel special and important. I felt happy. You may think that you’re wasting someone’s time because I really am not giving any good advice but it doesn’t. Well, at least for me. I guess sometimes all they need is someone to listen.
- MM Donato, UA&P student I Share Happiness
parang, "steady lang".
Listen. that's it.
Friends who would unexpectedly pour out their problems basically need somebody to listen to them.
Most don't necessarily need advices since they will later have a clear view of what is going on with their problems when their minds are cleared with the clots of emotional outburst.
And so we need to provide what they want.
Let us listen. But not just mere listening. It MUST be done with sincerity, selflessness and sacrifice.
Remember: sometimes, we need somebody to listen to us as well.
More power listener!
that's right. there are times i just want to rant.. no advices expected. just wanna vent.
thanks... that made me feel a lot better... now i know i have a good quality as a friend.. a good listener.. =)
"steady lang"... I use to say that before...
i like ur quote of the week! keep it up!
@ quincyjones... sometimes when you don't know what advice you can give.. you've done a favor for your friends already by listening to them.. it would be the best thing you can do for people who have problems.. people just need to pour out their bad emotions.. which is a good thing.. hehe... it's no wonder that psychiatrists and psychologists are really famous in the States. All they do is listen to you, observe you and say 'So... How do you feel about that?'.. :)
thanks a lot for visiting our blog and commenting! i hope you continue to support our cause! :D
-Pearl
@ foobarph...
Thanks a lot foobarph.. we will try to keep them up.. i love quotes and i keep a collection -->hehe, i even keep quotable quotes of ordinary people :).. wisdom doesn't come from famous people only.. do you collect quotes too? hey, if you have any quotes in mind that we could put up.. just let me know.. thanks!
Share the Happiness
-Pearl
@ pearl: and here in the Philippines, if somebody noticed you came from a psychiatrist or a psychologist, they'll think you got 'head' problems and conditions like that. stigma would then be the result... sad.
id better go to a friend.. hehehe
i love this blog because it promotes optimism.
good you visited my blog. i discovered you.
@ quincy...
yeah, i believe so... if you don't have mental problems they'll think you're in rehab (not confined to a center though) trying to recover from your addictions.. tsk... actually, psychologists can help you a lot especially if you have difficulty trying to figure out what your strengths, values are and personality is because they are the ones who can interpret personality test results.. they are not only there to help people who have problems (severe or not).. have a nice weekend quincy! :)
when other people who have problems approach you and ask your help, it doesn't matter if you don't have a gift in giving advice to people (although it is a plus) as long as your a good listener .. you'll be fine MM....
it's a habit for me to say 'ayus lang yan'... :)... now i know it isn't a bad thing.. thanks!
hahaha... but mm's right when she said that you feel important and special when someone tells you their problem. its a nice feeling.
yes...i do the same bit....its ok
fliksgallore.blogspot.com
yup... that's the line..
Comment Form under post in blogger/blogspot